Warnings & Red Flags in Marriage & Family Law

Have you ever suspected or had a “gut-feeling” that something is not right in your relationship? If that is happening, open lines of communications with your spouse or partner need to be fully open so that all doubt is removed, and trust is re-established your marriage.

In addition to communication, counseling with a professional marriage counselor, therapist or a trusted religious leader might help. If all of that doesn’t improve your relationship and communication as a couple, then something else might be happening behind the scenes.

Here are some things that you should look into as possible Red-Flags or possible issues with your marriage or partnership. Obviously, everything needs to be confirmed and evaluated separately. I bring these items up based on my years of handling family law. You live in learn over time with life’s experiences.

Here are items to consider as possibly problematic in family law:

1. Having separate bank accounts.
2. Not sharing the mail to review.
3. Your partner or spouse being away or alone for extended periods of time.
4. When your not invited to go with your spouse to overnight business trips.
5. When your not invited to recreational trips with your spouse.
6. When your spouse/partner becomes very possessive with material items that have been purchased during marriage.
7. When they emphasize or are emphatic and say “This is my house” or “This is my car”.
8. When you do separate tax returns and they never show you their check stubs, tax forms and keep everything secret and away from you.
9. When you are not allowed to be either the CPA or Tax Preparer at the time of tax season.
10. When they never review general finances with you. They control all accounts.
11. When they only place their name on the deed of the home when purchase.
12. When they order many credit cards under your “good credit” and you later find out.
13. Then they use up all the credit on the credit cards, especially with your name.
14. When they immediately refinance the house to take out all the equity and use it for “personal or unknown reasons” without coming to an agreement with you.
15. When they purchase a new vehicle without speaking with you.
16. When they quickly have their personal car or credit cards paid for from your joint account and they have a separate bank account with a lot of money and savings.
17. When they are not sleeping in the same bed or bedroom with you.
18. When they spend a lot of time  away from home after or before work.
19. When they will not use any of their past savings or financial gifts on any of the marital assets or projects.
20. When they try to keep every purchase separate in name and or by accounts.
21. When you find evidence of infidelity in their car, clothes, computer, cell phone or person.
22. When there is domestic violence in the form of physical violence, verbal abuse, threats, physical control and manipulation to name a few.
23. When they use the children to blackmail, manipulate or threaten you.
24. Hiding the mail or certain documents.
25. When they purchase another home under their name with their separate money.
26. When they spend more time away than with you.
27. When your items and things are disappearing from the home or garage and they don’t give a good explanation.
28. They control all access to the mail.
29. Your spouse or partner will not show you their cell phone or email under any circumstances or they get very apprehensive if you ask.
30. Not saying or no longer hearing “I love you” to your partner or spouse.

These are some of the possible Red Flags that may come up when your spouse or partner is being dishonest and open with you or they are preparing or thinking about a divorce or separation.

The date of Separation is important because that is when they can argue that is when all spousal support should of ended should it come up in the future.

Obviously, we all want our marriages and partnerships to go well and have a solid and trustworthy relationship. Unfortunately, due to infidelity and changes, this is not always the case. Most marriages will last about 8 years with about 43-50% ending before 15 years. The majority of divorces occur in the western part of the United States as compared to the east coast.

We are family law experts and have over 20 years of experience. However, we only handle family law matters in the Coachella Valley for the cities of Palm Springs, Desert Hot Springs, Cathedral City, Thousand Palms, Rancho Mirage, Palm Desert, Bermuda Dunes, Indio, La Quinta, Coachella, Mecca, Thermal and Salton City.

We handle divorce, custody matters, spousal support, division of assets, business evaluations, sale of the home and much more. Call us for a legal consultation at 1-760-863-4800.

Domingo Castillo

Attorney Domingo Castillo handles workers’ compensation, personal injury, family law & immigration throughout Southern California from our 5 offices: Indio, Pomona, Riverside, San Diego & Cathedral City. We help clients file injury claims, obtain residency & citizenship, and we assist families through divorce, child custody and all family law matters.